Legendary Mario: A Tale of Perseverance

Legendary Mario: A Tale of Perseverance

Chapter 1: The All Goody Mushroom Kingdom
Once upon a time, in a far far away kingdom of mushrooms and smiling clouds, people dwelled in perfect harmony. The kingdom was ruled by The Weak King, who was married to The Fat Queen. They had a daughter, The Pampered Princess. Mr and Mrs King had pampered their daughter to all extents. She was allowed to get guys and have a good time with them, she was allowed to roam, drink and party till late. Mr King had gifted her an orange colour (her favourite colour) Beetle. She had a highly expensive Blackberry phone with her. As time passed, The Princess grew up becoming sexier and oomphier. The people in the Mushroom Kingdom started to notice her. Marriages were broken, virginities were lost as she walked the streets.

On the 2nd of August, the hand shower of The Princess’s bathtub broke. Water poured out uncontrollably and flooded the bathroom. Poor The Princess almost escaped death. She went out to her father’s court in her bath robe, water dripping from her hair, her bosoms shaped out cause of the wet bath robe, and what a sight it was for the old court men! Hearing her plea, The Weak King called out for The Best Plumber in the kingdom. Everyone knew who it was- who else but Mario! Mario arrived at once and fell in love with The Princess at once. He repaired the hand shower at once and kissed her at once.

It was 2nd of August, 50 years before, The Weak King during his youthful days had burnt a tiny fire breathing bird to death, to prove in front of his friends that he was strong. What he felt to notice was the little dragon died near his brother dragon- The Fearsome Dragon, who would live for another 50 years to avenge his brother’s death.

As Mario and The Princess were lying down under the shades of the yellow mushroom- suddenly, the blue sky turned red, and the air heated up. The Fearsome Dragon was burning the Mushroom Kingdom to ashes. He had gulped down the king and was looking for The Princess. Mario held on to The Princess, as The Fearsome Dragon came closer. “Hand her to me, and i shall spare the rest!” Screamed The Fearsome Dragon. “No ways. You have to crush me to get to her!”, replied the brave Mario. The Fearsome Dragon smiled, “As you wish!”, and blew a fire ball that took away his senses. The Fearsome Dragon flew with the Princess and her maids (i am not too sure why he took the maids as well, anyways) as Mario lied there unconscious.

Chapter 2: The Quest for The Princess: Perseverance Tonic Ek pe Ek Free

When Mario opened his eyes, what he saw, he couldn’t believe. The Mushrooms had turned psychedelic, little dragons and genetically modified hotchie potchies were looking furious, he couldn’t imagine that once he used to play with them when he was a kid! They were smoking ganja, and the clouds smiled no more. All the inhabitants ran after collecting coins. The king’s palace looked like a creepy castle, there was a huge flag post with the flag displaying The Fearsome Dragon’s photo, the flag didn’t wave, it was stiff, and Mario wondered why someone would do it. Is The Fearsome Dragon a gujju? His senses started to comeback and he remembered The Fearsome Dragon abducting The Princess. He decided that he has to rescue the princess at any cost. He was just about to leave when he heard a shout, “Brother!”, he turned, it was Luigi.
- Luigi! What are you doing here?
- Brother Mario! I just came here today from my village.
- For? You haven’t been in touch all this while Luigi, now what?
- I am in love brother!
- so, your love brings you here I suppose? Where is she?
- She is The Weak King’s daughter, The Princess!
- What? Are you crazy?
- Brother! What happened!
- Luigi, you asshole! How do you know her?
- I saw her fairness cream ad on TV, i fell in love, i decided to get her no matter what comes.
- Luigi, rascal! We love each other!
- Mario! Save yourself!

Luigi dodged Mario from the fire ball that was approaching fast towards him. Mario was having a bad day. He knows his cousin Luigi has been drinking the Perseverance Tonic (like he does). He is no less than him. He must have faced a lot of difficulties on his way to the mushroom kingdom, for those who persevere reach The Mushroom Kingdom! Mario said hesitatingly, “The Princess has been kidnapped; she is hidden in one of the castles”
-What?
- Yes. I would save her.
- I would also come along brother!
- Dont you dare! Asshole!
- Brother!
- All right, I shall call the Great Plumber God! He shall decide who would rescue the princess and win her.

Mario started chanting hymns and a thunder struck! The Great Plumber God arrived with his hairy arm pits and pus-boil filled face. Mario told him the depth of the situation, after giving it a thought, The Great Plumber God spoke, “I give you 3 lives each. So, let’s leave it to your fate, who shall get the princess; you shall begin your quest from here. But both of you can’t move together. When Mario loses his first life, Luigi can move, and you shall continue alternatively. Since Mario is elder, he shall go first. Good bye.” He vanished leaving the aroma of rotten alcohol all around.

After hearing the last line, Luigi dropped his face and sat down as Mario walked towards the castle. Mario turned the hologram emitter off and smiled to himself, ‘3 lives’, he thought, ‘Luigi is such a fool! God bless technology! .’

What followed next is not hidden any of us. Mario goes on from one castle to the other completing 4 difficult worlds to reach the castle and just to find out its a maid. And when he found The Princess in the eighth castle, she had grown a long nose and had put on like 50 kilos, with boils all over her body, not to forget the unshaven armpits and limbs!

He rescued her out of pity, but refused to walk with her, left her in a jungle, and expected her to be eaten up by the wolves. He rushed to the Mushroom Kingdom, to see the state of Luigi, he wanted to see what happened to him; and what he saw!

Luigi was married to The Princess and they were living happily ever after in the mushroom honeymoon cottages. On enquiring further, Mario found out that Luigi actually made The Great Plumber God appear and he rescued The Princess; perhaps it was because of his touch that one of the maids had turned ugly whom Mario met in the eighth castle!

Mario took out the Perseverance tonic bottle from his pocket. It was written on the label- “Perseverance Tonic: Ek pe Ek Free!” And Mario never remembered collecting the free bottle!