25 Jan
As usual, another day without a job, and an interview that i knew was not meant for me! I am getting influenced by the people around me, and the films that I see. Surprisingly, I am getting back to writing journals. This might help to give the voice in my head some shape. For the time being, due to the laziness overpowering my physical activities, and paints -i choose to write and not paint. The voice in my head thus shall have the shape of English alphabets and not splash of paints.
Today began with continuous texts from Ms Aditi, about the interview schedule getting postponed. Well, this was the sign- the job wasn’t meant for me. Kyanton mamu said that i shall be employed under a ‘fair lady’- Ms Tanvi isn’t the one i guess. I have been smoking quite a lot of cigarettes i must say- cigarettes and I share a bit of history. The tobacco stick that i took up to make Shajeeh (my roomie from VIT) get rid of his ‘bad’ habit, has today actually become a vital organ in between my fingers. Human beings amaze me. How easily we get consumed by habits. Something that i strongly feel nowadays is I am struggling to hold on to ‘me’. I am so scared to welcome the new me.
Nice day-expected interview-late lunch-some cigarettes-walk to the beach-unhygenic cheap dinner-how i met your mother episodes and the ended.
I am getting jealous of the utopian world that i see in the films and American sitcoms! I still wait for the future that i think is written. I also know that i don’t know what’s written, but assumptions are keeping me going. No job-no girl-unhappiness-compromises—is this going to be my daily routine? For now the answer seems like- yes!
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